Woman

I've never been good at being easy friends with other women
but I've been lucky enough to be surrounded by some of the most
amazing, beautiful, strong, and bright women I have ever met

only, now... I feel like the only woman in my vicinity
like those around me haven't given as much thought as to what it means to be "woman"
like they haven't struggled with gender identities and thoughts of self
keeping them up late at night
wondering if the next morning, they could truly call themselves "woman"

because I have.
"woman" was a title that I fought for
is a title that i've been fighting for since I was a girl

I believe it is a title of respect
of admiration
at something so complex and captivatingly mysterious
that is "women"

"woman" is something I call myself on days when my self confidence is highest
when I know I deserve such a powerful word to associate with
but I am still earning my stars
still earning each sharp angle of consonants, each soft curve of each vowel
just like true women are a combination of sharp wits and softly curved bodies

I am learning what it means to be my OWN woman
and I can't help feeling
that no one around me
is doing the same.

Love having you here

You call me your butterfly
but I might actually be a bird
based on the way that I nest.

You can see it in the way that I superimpose my love for plants
over my originally white box of a room
that turned into mochas with one dark purple splash

there are pictures of plants, fake plants, and plant stickers on my walls
they give me reprieve and sanity from dealing with the fast paced urban traffic

I keep all my cords nearly tucked away
to take emphasis off the electronics
but next to my bed
there are two phone chargers.
on my desk
there's the gloves you play with
and the hat you rarely wear but keep around just in case we take a late night walk

your jeans are crumpled on the floor next to mine
and i've had a few pairs of your boxers tucked in an extra drawer for a little while

i love having you around when you're not really here
that I can wear your shirt while you're not around
so it feels like you have your arms around me
and it always smells like your skin
a scent that I am now addicted to.

you actually like to cuddle.
you wake up extra early in the morning
just so you can have me in your arms a little longer
which makes my heart do a little tap dance inside my rib cage

I can't write poetry about you.
all the pretty words get stuck in my mind
and all that comes out is simple truths

I love you.
more than I'll really be able to say
because when it comes to words, I'm shy.
you can make me blush so easily
and i hope it stays that way.
I want to be your lady if you'll be my man
and that's how we'll always be known
I know that the rest of my life will be happy
if you're here.