Butterflies

For the first time, I actually say what I feel.
I tell you almost everything.
I'm pacing myself... I can't reveal everything to you just yet.
The words I write are scary even to me- I can't imagine what they would do to you.

Yet... You understand. I've never read someone a poem that was about them so close to when I wrote it. You loved it. You got the butterflies. I get them every time I think about you.

You're far away, but you're so close to me.
I love this and I hate it all at the same time.

Everything seems fine when I'm talking to you.
I talk to you for hours like I've known you forever. I feel as though this has been lifetimes longer than almost a month. Has it really only been that long?

I can't picture how this is going to go.
I mean, I obviously have my own desires of where I hope it will go, but the actual reality of it remains fuzzy.

You make me glow.

When I talk to you
When I think of you
When I wake from dreaming of you
I feel like I'm holding
a warm sphere of light;
I start glowing.

It comes from within
exactly where, I'm not sure
but it radiates through me
all of me tingles with sparks of energy.

This sensation is new
is exciting
is wonderful
and I'm hoping
it's mutual.

I've always pictured
my true center
as a green core of light
with small tendrils reaching out
growing, budding, flowering.

When you walk into my world
I feel as though that core
bursts into life
it throws out vines in every direction
and creates flowers never seen before
Striped and speckled lilies,
Orchids beyond their normal extremities
Daisies, irises, pansies
Roses, lavender, jasmine, lilac

I've never felt so alive
if that's what this feeling is
I can't begin to imagine
what it'll be like
when you hold me in your arms.

It feels like forgetting the words to your favorite song.

You've reminded me how I love to write.
You're my inspiration, and my muse.
I've said before that my muses usually catch me off guard.
That's what you did, you caught me off guard. Completely unexpected.
It feels so right. So simple. So natural.

I touch my hair when I talk to you because I don't know what else to do.
I get nervous.
I smile too big for my own face.
And now... I think you feel the same?
But I can't tell because we're too awkward together. Which I really enjoy, but still.

I want to be with you so badly.
This is so hard, but it's also so easy.
I wish I could see how things work out, or don't work out.
Whichever way it goes, I want to know.
Actually- I want to make it work. If I can.
Maybe you want it to work too?
Isn't that all it would take?

Hanging by a thread of hope

I've been told
that love is patient;
love is kind
they never said
it's something that finds you
not something you find.

"Love isn't rational"
is what someone's wisdom told me
but my heart still says
that with you is where I want to be.

I've heard before
that love conquers all
but what can battle this feeling
that I've begun to fall?

I'm tumbling down
heels over head
wanting to ask you so much
but remaining silent instead.

You keep appearing
everywhere I go
I think I'm getting attached to you;
better yet, I know.

With one word, you can make me smile.

I know what it's like
to feel meaningless
to feel the spark, then nothing
after every kiss.

So why is it that every time
I even think about you
I feel secure and comforted
then my sense of longing ensues.

Confusion settles in my mind
when I feel this comfort in my soul
My heart is lost completely
Because in my life, I don't know your role.

This is heading in some direction
I'll willingly follow, though I'm not lost
I want to see where the road goes
even though I'm unsure of the cost.

Hey Jade

You've mesmerized me
captured me, confused me
with your bright blue eyes
you don't know what you're doing to me.

I stumbled upon the thought
and it only took a day
for me to become
fully and completely swept away.

I feel a constriction
somewhere in my chest
knowing you exist
and fate must care for the rest

The world is unfair to decide
that I can't be with you
and that you can't and don't know this
yet these words still ring true.

I ache and pain to cross the ocean
and run into your arms
a place I have never yet called home
you've given me no promises
but captured me with your charms.

I ask myself, repeatedly
how I know this, without question
that I desire your presence
but yet is something I daren't mention.

You may never know what you've done
and this, perhaps, is the biggest wrong of all
I wish I could tell you
How I have fallen, and continue to fall.

For now, you'll reside in the back of my mind
possibly appearing in my dreams;
a memory in my life
from when things began to split at the seams.

I hope you remember me
in what way, I'm not sure
I'll remember you exactly,
perfectly, as you were.

Stating the obvious

Being "together"
is very different from being apart.

Because when we're apart
I'm not with you anymore.

And when I'm not with you
I wish that I was.