Being a writing fiend

I couldn't make up my mind.
Here today, maybe call you tomorrow.
I would rock it on the dance floor
Good at getting attention- all kinds of it

I was easily intrigued
but when it came to commitment
I had A.D.D.
I wasn't one to be tied down

I heard all the promises
the compliments
the offers
but I wasn't impressed

then I found you
who didn't promise anything
didn't ask anything
was too shy to even make a move

And my mind made itself up
I was tied to you
You still haven't offered me anything
but I'm still stuck on you anyway

because the way we are
works best unsaid
we hope we'll be together
but we're exploring the blind alleys
together.

Past, Present, and Future Lovers

I'll be a bond girl
if you can be double oh seven
We'll defeat evildoers
and make our own heaven

If you can be tarzan
I'll be jane
We'll live in the jungle
king and queen of our domain

If you call yourself Tristan
I'll call myself isolde
without the poison, or death
until our story is fully told

I'll say that I'm bonnie
If you say you're clyde
We'll be outlaws in each others' arms
and it'll be one hell of a ride.

I'll be the cleopatra
to your anthony
We'll walk like egyptians
and live in harmony

I wouldn't say I'm barbie
If you wanted to be ken
that's only because I hate her
but I'd let you try again

I'll dance with you as Ginger Rogers
If you twirl as Fred Astaire
We can dazzle the world
with out wit and our flair

I'll be a pale Pocahontas
to your dark skinned John Smith
We can create legends
stronger than myths

You can be my knight, my Lancelot
and I'll be your damsel, your Guinevere
Rescue me from myself
where we can live without fear

Or you can say you're you.
and I can say I'm me.
Names don't matter much
if you and I become a "we".

So far beyond over my head

I want to run and keep running
but my legs are too tired
and can't carry me any farther.

I just want to curl up here
next to you
exchanging body heat and sweet nothings
but you're too far away
and yet you're getting too close

I'm getting so attached
with every minute, every word, every morning
every time I wake up and you're not next to me

I'm so young, I know
but I can't help dreaming of forever
only to wake up confused
When it's not forever
it's just today
another day
when you're not around.

When you're gone
I feel like I lose a part of myself
You're becoming another part of what I call home
and I don't understand fully what's happening

It's terrifying to me
when i'm scared
I run.
So I want to run.
I want to run to you. Into your arms.

Hold me close. Don't let go.
I feel like I'll fly to pieces if you do.

Questions

If I fall,
will you catch me?
If I asked you,
would you wait patiently?

Will you fight against those
who can't understand?
Will you follow your heart
and give me your hand?

Are you willing
to take the chance?
On something we've felt
since first glance?

Are you willing to believe
in the idea of fate?
Or in that some way
we've found our soul mates?

Love as a verb

I don't like the idea of love as a noun.
Love as an object or an idea is empty; powerless.
Love as a verb- now that's powerful stuff.
The problem with power though... usually it involves having power over someone else. In this case, it is just an inherent sense of power within love as an action.

Love as an action.
It takes so many undefined forms, forever changing and growing and expanding.
It is unconfined; from person to person, person to animal, person to idea, etc.

Love is in the little things.
It's in the effort behind the actions.
It's in calling to say hello during a busy day just to hear their voice.
It's craving their presence, but not needing to say anything to fill the silence.
It's saying I love you after fighting.
It's how you define it. How you declare it.

How one person loves another is extraordinarily different from how one loves someone else.
That's why "I love you" are the three most powerful words in the English language.


Why am I thinking about this?
I know love. I know my father, my mother, my sister, my amazing friends, who all supply me with enough love and support to be content forever.
Yet, I have yet to experience another kind of love.
Being IN love.
I've only heard stories and songs about it, but I have yet to know the feeling.
I can guess as to what it's like or what it means, but I won't know for sure until it happens.
How can I know when it happens? Will it just hit me one day or will it be a gradual discovery?
Will I discover it with my lover alongside me?
I'll just have to be patient, I guess.

A Simple Equation

You.
With your constant sassing and your long hair.
I think you're adorable when you eat noodles.
I gross myself out with how much I think of you.
Sleep comes for a moment, only for you to cross my mind. When I wake, I find myself upset that you're not as close as I thought you were.

Me.
With my violent grumpy side you seem to bring out, and my crazy morning hair.
You think I'm beautiful and amazing. I remember, you told me a few days ago.
You miss me as much as I miss you. Right?
The only dreams that you can remember in the past while have both involved me.

Us.
Are we an us? Can I refer to us as "we"?
I'd like to think so. We create things together. Laughter, ideas, plans.
We're making something without following any known recipie. Is that how it's supposed to be?
In all corniness, I hope that it doesn't explode once we try to put it in the oven. If it does, I'll laugh with you and try to make something different.
I didn't know that that was true until I just said it. typed it. thought it.
I'll make something, anything with you.
Friendship. Romance. Love.
I don't know which ones will work yet.
We can discover together.

Options

There are so many options.
I don't want to sound cocky, but I'm used to getting compliments.
I'm so at ease and I love meeting new people.
But guys? They see me as intelligent/not psycho and that I have a cute face, so they automatically put me in the bone zone. Great.
I love guy friends; they're so great to have around- unless they secretly have a crush on you and they hide it really really REALLY well. Cause then, one day, everything explodes.

Back to what I was saying. Options.
Sweet guys, nerdy guys, athletic guys... Usually I'd be "intrigued" at the very least. But now? Now I don't care.
I'm not saying this to brag, I'm saying this as a realization.
I don't care.
I don't see them how they see me; all I see is you.
Not that we're together or anything, just that I know they'll never measure up to you and how I act around you and how you make me feel.

How do you make me feel?
I keep trying to figure that out and it always just barely slips away from me.
Comfortable. That's a good way to describe it.
But also challenging. You don't let me get away with anything but you never are too harsh.
It's a perfect combination of wit, sarcasm, and genuine caring thoughts.
Which is exactly how I talk to people I really like.

There are so many options.
I could stay here. You could come here. I could go there.
We could meet in the middle.
I want to make it work. I feel like it can; almost like I know it will?
Maybe if we're drawn towards each other strongly enough, nothing will be able to get in our way.
I'm not sure what is going to happen at ALL, which is kind of terrifying.
At the same time, it doesn't really phase me. I get to talk to you all the time, which makes me really happy. If I could be with you, it'd be even better.
Still, we're awfully young- I'm awfully young- to be thinking about these kinds of things so soon.

There are so many options.
Yet the choice is so simple-
I want you.