A Simple Equation

You.
With your constant sassing and your long hair.
I think you're adorable when you eat noodles.
I gross myself out with how much I think of you.
Sleep comes for a moment, only for you to cross my mind. When I wake, I find myself upset that you're not as close as I thought you were.

Me.
With my violent grumpy side you seem to bring out, and my crazy morning hair.
You think I'm beautiful and amazing. I remember, you told me a few days ago.
You miss me as much as I miss you. Right?
The only dreams that you can remember in the past while have both involved me.

Us.
Are we an us? Can I refer to us as "we"?
I'd like to think so. We create things together. Laughter, ideas, plans.
We're making something without following any known recipie. Is that how it's supposed to be?
In all corniness, I hope that it doesn't explode once we try to put it in the oven. If it does, I'll laugh with you and try to make something different.
I didn't know that that was true until I just said it. typed it. thought it.
I'll make something, anything with you.
Friendship. Romance. Love.
I don't know which ones will work yet.
We can discover together.

Options

There are so many options.
I don't want to sound cocky, but I'm used to getting compliments.
I'm so at ease and I love meeting new people.
But guys? They see me as intelligent/not psycho and that I have a cute face, so they automatically put me in the bone zone. Great.
I love guy friends; they're so great to have around- unless they secretly have a crush on you and they hide it really really REALLY well. Cause then, one day, everything explodes.

Back to what I was saying. Options.
Sweet guys, nerdy guys, athletic guys... Usually I'd be "intrigued" at the very least. But now? Now I don't care.
I'm not saying this to brag, I'm saying this as a realization.
I don't care.
I don't see them how they see me; all I see is you.
Not that we're together or anything, just that I know they'll never measure up to you and how I act around you and how you make me feel.

How do you make me feel?
I keep trying to figure that out and it always just barely slips away from me.
Comfortable. That's a good way to describe it.
But also challenging. You don't let me get away with anything but you never are too harsh.
It's a perfect combination of wit, sarcasm, and genuine caring thoughts.
Which is exactly how I talk to people I really like.

There are so many options.
I could stay here. You could come here. I could go there.
We could meet in the middle.
I want to make it work. I feel like it can; almost like I know it will?
Maybe if we're drawn towards each other strongly enough, nothing will be able to get in our way.
I'm not sure what is going to happen at ALL, which is kind of terrifying.
At the same time, it doesn't really phase me. I get to talk to you all the time, which makes me really happy. If I could be with you, it'd be even better.
Still, we're awfully young- I'm awfully young- to be thinking about these kinds of things so soon.

There are so many options.
Yet the choice is so simple-
I want you.

Butterflies

For the first time, I actually say what I feel.
I tell you almost everything.
I'm pacing myself... I can't reveal everything to you just yet.
The words I write are scary even to me- I can't imagine what they would do to you.

Yet... You understand. I've never read someone a poem that was about them so close to when I wrote it. You loved it. You got the butterflies. I get them every time I think about you.

You're far away, but you're so close to me.
I love this and I hate it all at the same time.

Everything seems fine when I'm talking to you.
I talk to you for hours like I've known you forever. I feel as though this has been lifetimes longer than almost a month. Has it really only been that long?

I can't picture how this is going to go.
I mean, I obviously have my own desires of where I hope it will go, but the actual reality of it remains fuzzy.

You make me glow.

When I talk to you
When I think of you
When I wake from dreaming of you
I feel like I'm holding
a warm sphere of light;
I start glowing.

It comes from within
exactly where, I'm not sure
but it radiates through me
all of me tingles with sparks of energy.

This sensation is new
is exciting
is wonderful
and I'm hoping
it's mutual.

I've always pictured
my true center
as a green core of light
with small tendrils reaching out
growing, budding, flowering.

When you walk into my world
I feel as though that core
bursts into life
it throws out vines in every direction
and creates flowers never seen before
Striped and speckled lilies,
Orchids beyond their normal extremities
Daisies, irises, pansies
Roses, lavender, jasmine, lilac

I've never felt so alive
if that's what this feeling is
I can't begin to imagine
what it'll be like
when you hold me in your arms.

It feels like forgetting the words to your favorite song.

You've reminded me how I love to write.
You're my inspiration, and my muse.
I've said before that my muses usually catch me off guard.
That's what you did, you caught me off guard. Completely unexpected.
It feels so right. So simple. So natural.

I touch my hair when I talk to you because I don't know what else to do.
I get nervous.
I smile too big for my own face.
And now... I think you feel the same?
But I can't tell because we're too awkward together. Which I really enjoy, but still.

I want to be with you so badly.
This is so hard, but it's also so easy.
I wish I could see how things work out, or don't work out.
Whichever way it goes, I want to know.
Actually- I want to make it work. If I can.
Maybe you want it to work too?
Isn't that all it would take?

Hanging by a thread of hope

I've been told
that love is patient;
love is kind
they never said
it's something that finds you
not something you find.

"Love isn't rational"
is what someone's wisdom told me
but my heart still says
that with you is where I want to be.

I've heard before
that love conquers all
but what can battle this feeling
that I've begun to fall?

I'm tumbling down
heels over head
wanting to ask you so much
but remaining silent instead.

You keep appearing
everywhere I go
I think I'm getting attached to you;
better yet, I know.

With one word, you can make me smile.

I know what it's like
to feel meaningless
to feel the spark, then nothing
after every kiss.

So why is it that every time
I even think about you
I feel secure and comforted
then my sense of longing ensues.

Confusion settles in my mind
when I feel this comfort in my soul
My heart is lost completely
Because in my life, I don't know your role.

This is heading in some direction
I'll willingly follow, though I'm not lost
I want to see where the road goes
even though I'm unsure of the cost.