In my eyes

Do you know my favorite thing
To do upon waking?
While my eyes are still sleepy
And dawn is breaking?

When I’m still safe in my nest
Of blankets, so warm
Is to let my vision alight
Upon your vulnerable form

Sleeping quietly, in my bed
I softly shift next to
The slow rhythmic breathing
And scent that is you

My favorite thing to do
When I wake
Is see your eyes see me
It’s not just my breath
But my words you take.

To see you see me
With our heads on the same pillow
Ignoring the noise
And bustle below

Yet

I can’t tell
Or maybe can’t find
The thoughts behind the blue eyes
You won’t speak your mind

I reminisce on the night
That came before this morning
Filled with passion, desire
And also- a warning.

From those gentle hands
That held my cheek
And the soft kisses
That I know it’s cliché
Made me weak.



I’m usually so firm
So steadfast, so strong
Yet in all the joy of us
Something is wrong.

You asked me, quietly
As though saying it loud
Might scare me away
Or push me off my cloud

And I?
I couldn’t respond
Save for a blank stare
That I prefer to save
For when I don’t care

But the sounds of the words
I wished I could say
Got caught in my throat
And there I lay

Exposed in your arms
Unsure of what to do
When you hesitatingly asked me
To make love to you

Now, my unexpected innocence
May show through
But how can I comply
When you won’t speak
“I love you”?

The deal is this:
I give my first time away
You enjoy the benefits
And that’s supposed to be okay?

Making love should involve
Actually being in love
With the person that
You’ve barely dared to dream of

Actions without emotions
Is like not feeling hunger, but eating
So please excuse the drumroll
That’s just my heart beating

As I decide
That I’m not your dessert.
So I bite my lip
And fuss with my shirt

My voice might tremble
Because I can’t be nonchalant
When I tell you
I can’t give myself to you
The way you want

I used to wait for
You to see me
But now I don’t look
At the days that used to be

Now, my favorite thing to do
When I arise from sleeping
While everything is still cozy
In my bed’s safekeeping

Is realize how
I’ve become wise
and over time
Learning to prize
The beautiful gift
Between my thighs
And I see myself
Through my own eyes.