Just the truth

I don't like it when you walk away.
I get ancy
I pace back and forth
like i've lost something.

I've always understood that time is irrelevant
but with you, that thought is bittersweet.
because whenever you leave, you leave too early
and yet the basis for knowing each other is based on such short time.

I've looked out at the world before
and I didn't like what I saw
but when I was curled up next to you
the view changed.
Gone were the negative thoughts
the distrust of humanity
and i just saw things how they were
not how I wanted them to be.

that being said
I know what I want.
I want to be with you
to slide in bed
and share body heat and stories
until the sun rises
and then let sleep caress me away
while i'm safe in your arms.

But just for the sake of contradiction
I don't know what I want.
I'm very independent
and I don't even like to rely on others
I have goals, motivation, drive, whatever you want to call it
and I'm not willing to let anything get in the way of that

but
If I don't take the risk
I know beyond a doubt that I'll regret it
and this level of trust should scare me
but it doesn't.

I used to be able to look to the future
and see what would be or what could be.
but now it's all fuzzy and blurred
up in the air for grabs
as I suppose it's always been
and I was only seeing what I wanted to have in my future
but I guess this means that now
Now, I don't know what I will want.

But right now, I know that I want to be with you.
and I don't like it when you leave.