Enough.

You would think that after two and a half years, this would be easier.

You would think that after everything we've been through, everything we've put each other through, I would know better.

You would think that given recent events, I wouldn't be so stupid to trust you again.

but you don't really think about me, do you?

After two years of emotional ping pong, we both got hit back and forth across the table enough times to quit, but we didn't- and have the bruises to prove it.
we were stuck on a relationship rollercoaster, terrified of the drops but loving the ride anyway.

Finally figuring out that calling you my best friend was enough. That neither of us really wanted anything more, that loving each other without being together wasn't as painful as we thought it would be.

But now, I don't even think I know you anymore.
You've been poisoned
with the belief
that you're better than everyone else
simply because you can hide your cowardly face behind greek letters and a newly found social life

you lost yourself and everything you stood for.
you became what you never wanted to be.

I remember you telling me how you hated your older brother
because he didn't care about anything you did; he disregarded your actions and all you stood for
he let the devil on his tongue do all the talking.

but I guess being an asshole is genetic because you've got that gene too

don't act like you care what i've been up to
we both know that we're too old to play pretend anymore.

Don't act like you don't understand why I'm upset,
your attitude makes me sick.
physically makes me uncomfortable, like I need to purge something from my body
and I wish I could vomit memories
but you're stuck in my mind
afternoons spent together are branded in my brain
unwanted recollections of a person that I was stupid enough to trust over and over.

I told you that you were my kryptonite, my one weakness
I thought you would respect that
I thought you would respect me.

but obviously, I've been wrong before
I thought that we could be friends
but you're just too fucking cool for that.
So I'm sorry that I'm not your bro
that I don't sleep with the bitches
that I don't act like I'm the shit when I'm an insecure little pansy
and I just want to protect my ego

except wait-
I'm not sorry at all.