Happiness

I don't know this girl.
She looks pretty.
She has a sincere smile and a stud nose piercing
She currently lives in the same city as you
and for some reason,
I think she likes you.

Maybe it was the post on your facebook wall
that I was stalking
because I miss you
but I can't tell you that
so I try to know what's going on in your life
without asking directly

I can't stop listening to adele.
something about her purity makes me put all her songs on repeat
and most of them are love songs
so of course I think about you
which puts me on this semi self destructive path

because I already cut our ties and said that our potential couldn't exist
wouldn't compromise for you
wouldn't let you compromise for me
because I wanted you to be happy

but you know what?
I want to be your happiness
I want to be the face you fall asleep to at night
and the smile that you wake up to in the morning

My mind took everything a few steps past where it should have stopped
but it made me realize
that I would be so happy to create a family with you
raising babies and making memories with them and with each other
watching them grow
and I could be your happiness

I could be the smile that I love seeing on your face
I could be the reason you're excited to go home at the end of a day
I could be the muse to your music
the one you text during the middle of the day
because I'm still on your mind.

I described how it feels to be around you
how it felt to be around you
and I realized that I'd just described what it feels like to be in love.

I repeat myself over and over saying that it isn't fair
this jsut isn't fair
I want you.
I want you to be here right now.
I want you in California
I want you in my bed
I want to wake up in your arms and not have it be a dream

I want a future
I want tiny feet pattering in the hallways
and a treehouse built in the backyard

and maybe i'm only 20 years old
and maybe this is a little hasty
but this is new for me
this future is something I didn't see
but I want it.
I want it so badly.

But she's near you and I'm 3000 miles away
this new girl
she has dark curly hair
mine is straight and blonde.

you miss running your fingers through my hair
I hope that when you touch hers for the first time
You can only think of how it's not the same
how she doesn't fit with you the same

but if she's your happiness,
I'll settle for having happiness not with you
but for you

If she's what you know you need
I wish you nothing but the best
but if I get the chance
I'll make sure she knows
the amazing man that she's about to commit to.