Once the dam breaks, words just start flowing

I miss you.
Isn't that enough?
Why can't i just say this to you?
I'm scared.
I'm terrified that you don't feel the same way or that you'll reject me or that you're going to break my heart.
I can't even tell what I'm feeling anymore; if this is real or i'm just tired and stressed out.
But I still miss you.
Every day, I miss you more.
You don't say it back.
I notice.
You may think I don't, but I do.
I say it all.
but I think you're hesitating to tell me because it's not the truth.

I was stupid and foolish and put my heart into something that wouldn't work.
I was young and careless, like I said I wanted to be.
and now I can't even get myself together.
How can you do this to me
by doing nothing at all?

I hate feeling like this.
I want to be mad at you, but it doesn't make sense.
I'm so mixed up. I just want answers. Or reasons.
I just want you.
Is that too much to ask for?

Unwritten letter to you

I hate the way you make me feel
like I've done something wrong
and you haven't even done anything
Why do you make me so crazy and obsessive?
Throw me a bone, here.
Tell me I'm not losing it.
I'm not losing you.

I'm just lost.
Did I do something? Say something?
or are you just stressed and need space?
Did you find someone else or realize that I'm not the one?
Say it, straight up.
If you're going to break my heart, do it soon.
You have the power to do that, you know.

You got my hopes up.
I thought I'd found my soulmate.
I thought I was going to fall in love with you.
and now I'm paranoid that I'm not the one you want.
Please help me retain my sanity.

Starlight

Losing you is difficult
I was never sure if I could call you mine
so I'll hide my confusion in my head
and in these lines

Do you know that I'm yours?
Or maybe you're afraid to ask.
I'm not that intimidating, am I?
it shouldn't be such a difficult task.

How can you change so much
in so few days?
Do you know how much i miss you?
Let me list the ways.

I miss the way you danced with me
like there was no one else around
I miss the way you we lied on the dock
immersed in thoughts and sounds
I miss the way your eyes looked
when they were locked with my own
I miss the way you made me feel;
I finally wasn't alone.
I miss how you made me laugh
when I thought i was upset
I miss the connection I felt
the moment we first met.
I miss how I was able to deal
so much better before i knew you
Now i'm stuck wondering what, if anything
there's left for me to do.

Aside from cling to my pillow
and let tears slide down my face
like I haven't been here before
like I don't know this place.

Aside from gaze at the stars
and silently wonder
if you look at them
if they pull your logic under

Every time I see the night sky
untouched by the sun's harsh rays
you feel so much closer
but I feel farther away.

So i'm stuck, unmoving
waiting to say goodbye, unless
you decide your answer
is actually yes.

Losing what I never had

The words I say to you
don't ever come out right
So I hide behind cliches
like xoxo, goodnight.

My thoughts don't translate well
to communicate to you
but you don't communicate at all
regardless of what I do

You run away from me
for reasons I don't understand
it feels like you've fallen
but you're refusing my helping hand

Like a game of hide and seek gone wrong
You stopped looking for me
But I'm hidden right in front of your eyes
and still you don't see.

You've stopped enjoying me
I don't know last time I made you smile
So I try to amuse you like i know how
but you've changed somehow; this could take a while.

It's like getting lost on a straight road
you turned into a wall
It's like learning to trust someone
but forgetting to fall.

I wish I could touch the ocean
because it connects me to you
but now, it just makes my feet wet
and I think soon my cheeks will be too.

Listen with your heart

All around, there are forces.
Earth, wind, water, and fire.
Whispering to me.
tugging at me.
Nudging me
Guiding me
Supporting me.


Helping me learn to be happy by being.
Not wanting to be happy. or wanting to be anywhere.
Just being. Simple and pure.
Difficult, but simple.

And as always, my thoughts turn to you.
How I want to be with you.
But I can't.
So I want to talk to you. speak to you. Communicate my feelings to you.
and I'll roll with it
like the waves.
They don't crash and pull at the shore; they powerfully roll across the sand.
Lessen my sense of longing. Let me be content.
As I learn to desire nothing more than what I have.

Jaded

You're never far away from the edge of my thoughts.
I can't wait to see you again, but I have to.
I hope that I will see you again. be with you again.
It drives me crazy
Makes me flustered
I talk myself in circles
only to sleep, exhausted
and dream of finding myself in your arms.


You've made me Jaded.

Tarzan and Jane

Tarzan = jungle man who doesn't wear shoes or a shirt. Loves nature.
Jane = girl raised in the city who loves nature as much as Tarzan.

Jane meets tarzan, can't believe he exists.
They learn from each other and about the world that the other comes from.
Jane has to leave and go back to the city.
They're both upset.
She realizes that she should stay with Tarzan in the jungle.
She jumps off the boat and swims back to him.

The only difference between their story and ours is that I can't jump off a plane... otherwise I would have.
I went back to the city.
I want to be the Jane to your Tarzan.
We can live in the jungle together; I'll gladly leave the city life behind.
I'll jump into the water to get to you; I'll never look back.

Just say that you'll miss me.
Give me some indication.
And we can make a modern version of tarzan and jane.