Stuck

You are a so vindictive sometimes that I wonder how you got that way.
You get jealous and then don't tell me- how can I change my actions if you don't let me know that they upset you?
You are beyond frustrating. You are so hard to get a hold of, and once I do talk to you, you don't hear what I'm trying to tell you. Or, maybe you do and you just take away what you need to.
You play me hot and cold, which is completely unfair to me and we both know it. From the beginning, I thought we were a sure thing but you could never make up your mind. Once you did, it was too late. So, here we are again- am I not good enough for you to decide if you want in or out?
You are hurtful. You tell me that you feel guilty if you move on; I've trapped you in our twisted circle of friendship with feelings. That's also not fair- I'm just as trapped as you.
Yet...
You are kind. You show so much compassion to your siblings that I can't help but smile when you talk to them in the background.
You are funny, hilarious even. Your stories can always make me laugh, even when I'm at my lowest. When you smile, I have to return it, even if I'm upset with you.
You are honest. You are not afraid to call me out, which I didn't realize I needed. In return, I put up no facade- I am the purest me that I can be when I'm around you. There's no bullshit, there's no fake conversations, just who we are. Which is probably why it hurt so bad when you said you wanted out.

There are so many things about you that make me happy that they easily outweigh any frustrating qualities- why else do you think I stuck around for so long?
I guess that's the key word here: stuck. We're either stuck being friends, stuck not being friends, stuck with each other, or stuck being alone.
This sucks.