Svegliarsi la mattina

you sang to me, beautiful words I didn't understand
saying that first thing you wanted to do upon waking in the morning
was talk to me. only with me.

It took me a moment to realize that those were the lyrics
you weren't the one doing the talking
it felt so fucking perfect
but the universe just likes messing with me too much
to let this be easy

So open the door for me to be overly critical of myself
making me feel guilty for being less than perfect
wishing I could be exactly what you want
so i would never have to leave your arms
which felt so right that I never wanted to be anywhere else.

I'm so damn A.D.D.
but I like to say that I just think faster than everyone else
but you kept me entertained
for hours
I could sit at listen to you
all your stories unfolded in front of me
and I hung on your every word like my life depended on it.
remembered every detail of your life better than I remember what I did yesterday.

I never liked football
until it meant spending more time with you
now when the game comes on
I watch it, and wonder what you're thinking
but it's less fun when you're not around
to make fun of all the fumbles and slip ups

You were and are such a gentleman
too bad I don't speak etiquette.
now I'm hoping that we can still be friends
as dumb as that sounds
because i'm pretty sure that you don't want to be more than that anyways.
but just so you know...

I started making plans.
I knew better, but I did it anyway.
so now, when I hear that song
with the slow sweet guitar that serenades my mind
and syrupy lyrics that melt my heart
it makes me wish for things I can't have.
makes me angry that I've never been able to have them.
makes me wonder what I've done wrong to never be lucky enough to be in love.