Australia

I fell in love with a boy from Australia.
Or at least, that's what it felt like.
See, I was hyper sensitive to every move he made, every smile that shimmered in my direction, every time our eyes met on the same plane of existence I felt like I was having an out of body experience.

I could go on and on about the three days that I got to spend with him
or about the three months that turned us from strangers into best friends
or the year that it took for me to recover when he decided that the distance was too much

but I've already told those stories.
This is a story about the here and now
problem is, I don't know where to start.

because I fell in love with a boy from Australia.
or at least, I think I did.
fell in love with the way he said river- like rivah
how he would stay awake until I woke up because the time change meant that one of us was almost always sleeping
I just felt like it meant that we were always in each other's dreams
I used to stand on the beach with my toes in the water, hoping that he would be on the beach on the other side of the slow moving waves
and I could send him kisses on the crests of the vast pacific ocean
and he could swim in the warm water and feel my arms reaching for him
reaching for the thought of him
reaching for something that would never work.

See, I haven't heard from this boy in almost a year.
He was one of my closest friends and then he walked out of my life without even bothering to close the door behind him
so sometimes, on cold nights
an icy breeze sweeps into my chest
and it feels kind of like a tropical humid night spend looking at constellations from a different point of view
but realizing that the stars still sparkled just the same
finding everything that I knew I would ever want
only to know that I had to leave it behind.

So I fell in love with a boy from Australia.
and the worst part is
I'm not sure if I ever really let him go.