Letter to Grandma

I don't know how I'm supposed to know what you would say.
I know what i want you to say.
actually, that's a lie
I just want to hear your voice again
hear your laughter that made your entire face break out into a beacon of sunshine
and innocent happiness that made me feel like a little girl all over again

I wish I knew more of your story, Babushka.
The only things I can hold onto as concrete memories
are the decorative plates that used to line the walls of your home
and the baking pans in strange shapes
like a fish and a bird
shiny copper that I would run my tiny fingers over
there were more shapes
but I can't see them now.
Can't remember what they felt like.

and that's what I'm afraid of
afraid that I'll forget what you felt like
when I would run into your embrace
it felt like hugging a cirrus cloud
you were so far above me, so beautiful, and so delicate
in elemental harmony
you always felt so centered to me

I want to honor your with my words
and more so, with my actions
so I'm going to try to speak as though I have all your wisdom and years of experience
but I'm also speaking out of how much I love you and miss you.

Keep dancing.